Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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