Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My brain says no but my pants say off.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
