i love accidental penises.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
