I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
