That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
