dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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