She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
