sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
