to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
