She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I forget how to act sober
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize