i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think your dad took our porno
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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