Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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