I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
there is glitter all over my balls
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
