You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
