so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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