I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
