I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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