she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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