Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
