OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
