38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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