I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
