I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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