There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
