im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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