why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
