This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize