i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
