called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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