I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
