So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize