haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
