whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
