i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
