No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
