big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
