I look better un-naked...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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