Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
