you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
