Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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