whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
