you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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