If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
