Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
