He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
