this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
