just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
