New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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