I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
