I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
