i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He has the fingertips of a God
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