peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
