I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
