why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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