I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
