I just cut my nipple shaving
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
