What a fucking waste of an outfit
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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