Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
