This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I have aggressive nipples.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
