So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
