She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
