I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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