We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
