I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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