The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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