oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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