No awkward lesbian experiences without me
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
