i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
