what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize