chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
