Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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