maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
