that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Watching her eat just hurts me
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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