i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
