Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
