So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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